UnivercityTV: Freshers' Bash 2015: UWC vs NWU vs TUT vs WITS vs MATIES

'Freshers’ Night’ or ‘Freshers’ Bash’, whatever name you christen it provided the ‘fresher’ is kept constant, is the dark night of the dark knight! It’s going down one of these weekends while these freshers are still new and naive.
My young lads and lasses, if you want thine souls to make it to heaven, please walk not into the pit of sin masquerading in the name of Freshers’ Night. Just go for a church service that weekend!

Girl, you are fresh from high school where the most a boy would do for you is give you his school shirt and hug you hiding behind the school bus then later send you a love letter with the proverbial phrase, “The main aim of drafting this letter…” and you would smile for the whole term!

Here in campus, these ninjas will transform you from a Homo Sapien to a certain species of humans where all chicks in campus belong. It’s called Guaranus Campus-pithecus!

Don’t get scared child! It’s not science. You shall be newly baptised to this species not with a dip in water but with a sip of the proverbial Guarana! Upon transformation, the following changes will take place: His name shall change from Dave to ‘Babe’ in a flash.

You will become a better dancer (Well at least that’s what you will think). You will get a weird accent. Your walking style will change. The fresher boyfriend you have been dating since high school will be dumped.

You will not wake up in your hostel bed the next day. If I were you I would remain indoors…stay calm and keep up on #TeamHomoSapien.

UWC